Just... sorry....

I know that I did the best I could.

I should have known that no matter what I did, it could never be done right or well enough, and that your reaction would be the same.

I should have known ahead of time that what I believed to be just and true and fair would be maligned, twisted and treated with contempt.

I should have known that gratitude would be the last thing you'd feel, even after all of my hard work to try to give you what you wanted.

If the words you said are true, I am the most awful person alive. Certainly, I am paying for my sins, but I'm not what you say I am.

I'm tired of believing you, or in you, in your world where there is no mercy. I'm tired of knowing I'll fail before I even start. I didn't fuck this up all by myself. I don't think you're right, and I know I don't deserve this, anymore.

I'm sorry. This one last time, I'm sorry. I truly am.